Sunday, October 07, 2007

All Shall be Well

I wasn't able to sleep the night before. Probably none of us were.

Faithful Hope, my sister, accompanied her. The appointment was at eleven. They made them wait a long time, though not as long as the interminable six months Esme spent having chemo and the rest of us spent watching.

I took Anna-mouse to music class. A bright, chirpy autumnal morning. The end of a week. And a chapter, as it turns out.

I was preparing lunch when Hope rang, as promised. Pizza fingers under the grill, half the fridge scattered over the counter, a bit of rough chopping going on and several half-touched drinks in the sink. Signs of a distracted morning.

"Hi Liv, you can stop stressing now," said my sister, a smile in her voice.

And with that, and the short, happy conversation which ensued, I learnt that my mother is cancer-free. That the scan result was fine. That she does not have to visit a hospital for three months. That the PICC line was being removed as we spoke (no more showers with the arm in a plastic bag!) and that the many and wretched signs of depletion she has recently been showing are due to the extreme toxicity of the drugs, not a return of the illness they were fighting.

I put down the 'phone. Forget Anna-m's lunch. Leap around. Feel the weight of ten heavy months begin to lift.

I pick up the 'phone. Call the Bim. Go into the garden to feel the briskness of the air, and let the October sunshine warm me as I talk. I note the neglected grass, the overgrown borders, the pots I planted with so much care earlier in the year parched and deadened before their time: something had to give this year, and rather than it be any one of the dear persons in my care, it was the garden I chose to let go.

Just had to tell you, I say. It's my mum. She's fine. The scan's clear. Isn't that fantastic?

And then I burst into tears.


Debbie said...

Oh, Livvy! My heart is dancing with yours. I am so happy for you and your family. Wow. Fantastic doesn't begin to tell it! Wow...

Marianne said...

What lovely news Livvy. It is so good when things actually go right, when so much seems to go wrong. Your garden will forgive you and maybe next year ...

Can I ask which bit of Kent you are in?

Rachel Whetzel said...

Ahhh Liv! Such good news! I'm crying with you!YES!!!!

Suffolkmum said...

Fanatastic news, Livvy, I'm so pleased for you all. What an ordeal you've come through.

Cathy said...

Wonderful news!


Livvy U. said...

Thankyou, dear well-wishers one and all. It's also heartening to report that, one week on from the end of the last chemo cycle, Esme is already beginning to feel a little better. Hallelujah.

JK said...

Whoo Hoo!!!!!