Tuesday, February 12, 2008

The Comeback

I shall come back quietly - though life has not been quiet.

I will honour my promise, and curl myself round the Bim's warm, sleeping back at 11pm.

I will write just a few words, dear words, oh-how-they-comfort-me-words.

I remember moments of the last couple of post-less months. I remember that I could not write here anymore, much as I wanted to hold onto the precious, un-met fellow writer-readers who come here and are unerringly kind. I discovered that people you have never met can feel close to you, and vice versa, and that this is bolstering and affirming in troubled seas.

It's true that crisis equals opportunity. We decided to look at it that way.

Following the semi-comic tragedy that was a moment in our marriage, the Bim and I took a long hard look at each other, wondered what the hell we'd been doing, and set to putting things right.

The hurt of it all ravaged my immune system and I spent weeks fighting one thing or another, or nursing Anna-mouse through the night, or holding my migrained head in my hands.

The Bim returned to work after the Summer of the Bad Back and promptly discovered he was being hounded out of the building. One night just before Christmas there was a loud banging at the door and a man handed him a letter, Special Delivery. Come to a meeting it said. You are going to be disciplined. You may well lose your job. A couple of hours later, when Anna-mouse was down and the house quiet, we looked at one another and knew that another chapter was over. He resigned the next day.

Christmas with no income, hmmm!

But mysteriously and wondrously we were happier people for the changes wrought.

Once, the recent past came to remind us of what we had escaped - I met the Woman Down the Road in the street, we managed a pleasant conversation, I just about made it up the hill before collapsing into the Bim's arms at our door.

For several, nervewracking weeks we have clung to the vision of a new existence - and yesterday, quite suddenly, it paid off, in myriad ways.

And of course the girl who drives us continues to run into the wind, her hair backlit gold by the winter sun.


Debbie said...

I am sooo glad you are back!

Richard said...

I am hugging you from some frozen town in Tennessee. I have been hugging you from Florida... welcome back dear friend.

Cathy said...

Welcome back...

Rachel Whetzel said...

It's so good to read your words!! Stay well, and loved.

merry weather said...

Hi Livvy - good to read you again. Sorry to hear you've had down times. Sounds like things are getting easier - good luck!

Your writing is just as warm and touching as ever - it's always lovely to visit here - glad you're back :)

Livvy U. said...

How lovely to hear from everyone. It is just lovely to be back. x

http://reluctantmemsahib.wordpress.com said...

I have been trawling your blog. This is lovely too. How come these unseen, unmet faces become so dear? Isn't it strange? The powerful reaching for hands, touching of fingers, quiet listening to our words. And all without interruption. Or judgement. I think that's the best bit. For me at least. Nobody judges me, nobody finishes my sentences. Please keep writing.