Monday, November 21, 2011

Keeping the Peace

Several times in recent days I have had the Bim's new love Mary sitting beside me in my car as I drive her to work and continue on to drop Anna-mouse off at school.

Yes, I know, it's a little unusual.

In my defence, if I didn't perform this morning task, Mary wouldn't get to work, Anna-m wouldn't get to school, and, crucially, I would not be able to have the evening off the night before said morning to swan off to London hotels because Anna-mouse stays with the Bim in his new village abode on such nights.  Clear?

I've always been a peacemaker.  I think it comes of being the middle child.  I remember vividly being placed on the (very uncomfortable) middle half-seat on the back seat of our family car, to ensure my brother on one side and my sister on the other did not fight.  I attempted to broker peace between my father and sister through all the years they did not talk to one another and I will always try to see the other person's point of view.

This has not, it has to be said, always stood me in good stead.  Sometimes I see the other person's point of view so clearly that it cripples me.

In the case of Mary, this is not so.  But it does raise some questions as I bob along with her beside me in the car.  Like: how much should you impart to your husband's new love about your husband?

This question amuses me frequently.  I mean, I know so much that might be of use!


It's all fantasy, I know, but it does cheer me as I perform my taxi task, to assemble a list of Things I Know That You Don't Which Might Save Your Relationship.  Chief among these are:

(1)  Do not, on any account, open a joint bank account with my husband (and always stash a little bit away that he can't get at).
(2) If he looks at you as if you are stark raving bonkers when you ask him a direct question about something in his behaviour you don't understand and vehemently denies all knowledge, he is unquestionably lying and you need to communicate about this straightaway.
(3) The Bim is married already - yes, to me, but also to his family.

Oh, and (4) He is not a bad person, in fact he is a good one who has a good, big heart.  But keep a generous portion of your own safe for a while, won't you.  You never know when you might need it.

I say none of this, of course.  I remain steadfastly - one might even say stoically - stum.

1 comment:

Richard said...

Just catching up... how wonderful to hear your voice again. BEAUTIFUL WRITING! I cannot write a blog entry every month, let alone every day. Keep going. Please. x